1. They let him do the new Halloween movie instead of you.
2. You have to pay to go to conventions. Conventions pay Rob to go to them.
3. He's shacked up with Sheri Moon. You're not.
4. Prior to that, he was shacked up with the bassist from White Zombie.
5. He has his own action figures, yet has no need to play with himself (See #3).
6. He can get his comic book ideas published without using a photocopier.
7. Sybil Danning acknowledges his existence. You...not so much.
8. He was on MTV before it sucked. Now you get to watch MTV while it sucks.
9. His resume reads: Porno Mag Art Director, Rock Star, Movie Director.
10. Your parents have told you that you're not getting tattoos and/or dreadlocks.