LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS

First things first...let me apologise for the lack of updates. I've gotten a bit sidetracked with my review of Nightmare USA (which is understandably taking forever to do, given the size of the book in question), so I'm going to be making up for lost time with a lot of shorter reviews to make up for the disruption in service.

So without further ado, let me get on to Lesbian Vampire Killers...

About the only way anyone could give this movie 'two thumbs up'...

I haven't got the DVD of this, and I didn't go and see it when it was out at the cinema either. It's one of those where my immediate reaction was 'I'll wait for it to pop up on Sky Movies', and boy was I right!

Simply put, Lesbian Vampire Killers is a bottle job of epic proportions. One would perhaps go in expecting an entertaining exploitation-tinged blend of lowbrow comedy, gratuitous sex and/or nudity, and splatterific horror, but it fails to deliver on all three counts.

It's somewhat symptomatic of the general attitude of (and indeed, problem with) a lot of UK media types whereby they lack the conviction (nee balls) to make a proper exploitation film and instead churn out safe and insipid filler like this. Films like Lesbian Vampire Killers are what happens when you let right-on Guardian-reading PC types attempt to make exploitation films, only without exploiting anyone or anything. Simply put, they lack the gumption (or testicular fortitude) to go the whole hog.

Don't get me wrong...the production values are generally very good (despite much of it being very obviously shot in a studio), the performances are acceptable, and Corden tries to make a go of the comedy part of the bargain, but the script isn't particularly funny to begin with. You get the distinct impression that had 'Gavin & Stacy' never been made, neither would Lesbian Vampire Killers.

The fact that it is a certificate 15 should tell you everything you need to know...this is an object lesson in the pulling of punches, and one which I'd urge you to avoid. Whether this was done with a commercial sensitivity in mind (you've got a larger potential audience for a 15 rather than an 18), or as I suspect is more likely, because the filmmakers kind of want to make an exploitation film because it's 'cool', but don't actually want to make an exploitation film because it's not politically correct. Which is basically like trying to make a porno without any sex or nudity. What you're left with is neither fish nor fowl, yet curiously close to a turkey all the same.

Like I say, thankfully I didn't buy this on DVD, otherwise I would be punting it out on Ebay in double quick time. Save your time and money, or better yet, spend it on a film that does deliver the goods.