Thursday, 11 June 2009
URGENT KIDNEY APPEAL
I have decided that I want a copy of Tim Lucas' universally-celebrated Mario Bava book 'All The Colors Of The Dark'. To this end, I am selling kidneys. Not my own kidneys, but they are kidneys nonetheless.
All enquiries to the usual address, cash prefered as apparently PayPal have some sort of archaic totalitarian rules about using their service to pay for human organs. Fascists!
When I was younger, I did a door-to-door collection for a Kidney charity in the UK, and they didn't even send me so much as a thank you card, so the way I figure it is that I am owed some kidney-related payback, and it has come time to collect!
I know some of you might feel a little uneasy about the ethical implications of such a venture, but I believe that there is a reason that God gave people two kidneys, and that is so they could sell them and raise money and buy this book. I also believe God blessed mankind with the intelligence to create dialysis machines so that we could also sell the other kidney so that we can afford to take out a subscription to Filmrage as well. The Lord Giveth, and The Lord Taketh Away apparently, and who are we to question His divine omniscient wisdom?
It is God's Will, I'm convinced by it.