DEAD CREATURES

Director: Andrew Parkinson

16:9 Anamorphic Widescreen
Dolby Digital 2.0

(PLEASE NOTE: All comments relate to the UK DVD put out under the 'Hard Gore' label. Other regions/releases may vary in content)

A quick question for our UK-based readers...do you remember those ads for Ronseal where the tagline was "Does Exactly What It Says On The Tin"?

Andrew Parkinson proves that making a film needn't cost an arm and a leg...just an arm

Well, the sleeve of my copy of 'Dead Creatures' says that it is "The 'Trainspotting' of Cannibal Movies", "Astonishing", and describes the style of director Andrew Parkinson as a "mix of Mike Leigh, Ken Loach and George Romero".

Now, normally upon reading such effusive praise, the patron of low budget horror will doubtlessly recoil as their boxcover bullshit-o-meter goes into overdrive. Yet it gives me great pleasure to announce that in this instance, the plaudits are entirely justified.

'Dead Creatures' is exactly what it purports to be, which is to say a socio-realistic take on a cannibal movie, and a damned good one at that. Personally, I'm not a great fan of socially realistic 'kitchen sink' or 'slice of life' films, nor the directors who make them (that's why I write a blog where the focus is firmly on way-out genre flicks), but I really enjoyed 'Dead Creatures'.

The storyline centres around an apparently normal group of young women who all have one thing in common...they are all afflicted by degenerative flesh-eating disease, the spread of which can seemingly only be staved off or slowed down by consuming human flesh. As such, they form a sort of loose support group for each other, the healthier ones caring for those who are further along or close to being too far gone.

Degenerative effects of the disease

The group ethos (and lifespan within) is explored by the adoption of a new member and the degenration, death and disposal of the oldest or most decomposed member. Everything is shot in a matter of fact style so as to render the bizarre almost mundane, and were it not for the frequent visual reminders, one could be forgiven for forgetting that it was a cannibal movie. Ultimately, it's a human story which one can quite easily view as being a metaphor for illness or addiction, which I'm sure is what most likely inspired the 'Trainspotting' comparison.

Has cannibalism ever looked more sedate or humane?

As if their condition wasn't bad enough, things are further complicated by the presence of a 'zombie hunter' who knows about the disease and is busying himself eradicating those who carry it with a pneumatic bolt gun (there's a great low budget cheat where they get maximum use out of an impaled prosthetic head). The shot composition in the scene where the hunter decides to give up the hunt and dispose of his weapon is fantastic, by the way...for me, the enduring image of the film.

About to get her brains pushed through her skull...

The production standard is very high, up there with a lot of the better drama output on British TV. If this cropped up on Channel 4 one night, you wouldn't bat an eyelid. It may be relatively low budget, but it doesn't broadcast the fact via technical ineptitude or trying to punch too far above the production's respective weight. It's evident that it's done by people who know what they're doing, rather than people who got Final Cut and After Effects for Christmas and feel duty bound to squeeze in every conceivable effect they know into the proceedings whether the scene or story merits it or otherwise.

US Cover (in association with Fangoria)

It may not be everybody's cup of tea with regards to what a cannibal film should be, and if you're looking for non-stop action and constant choreographed scares, then you might want to look elsewhere. On the other hand, if you're looking for a well-made, unsettling and unremittingly bleak horror experience, I would happily point you in the direction of 'Dead Creatures'.

As is customary with my reviews, I always remark on whether I consider something to be value for money. I took a gamble on this (99p off of Ebay, including postage...I'm a high roller, baby!) and it payed off in spades. In addition to the feature itself, there's a trailer, Making Of documentary, Outtakes, commentary track, Premiere featurette, and a short film called 'Sad Man' too, plus loads of the other additional gubbins. Having got all of this for 99p, I feel rather unclean, yet damned smug at the same time.

As to what I'd suggest you pay for it, I don't know...I get the impression this is a film people will either love or hate (the fact I was able to get it for 99p would surely attest to that in some fashion). If you see it floating about at a price you feel comfortable taking a gamble at, then my advice would be to have a punt. In closing, I should say that you certainly won't be seeing my copy popping up on Ebay anytime soon, 99p or otherwise. For me, it's a keeper...probably not something I'm going to watch as many times as Zombie Flesh Eaters or Suspiria, but still one I'm proud to have on the shelf.

EATEN ALIVE! Italian Cannibal and Zombie movies

Edited by Jay Slater
Plexus
256 pages, B&W w/ Colour Insert
Dimensions: H=23cm W=17cm D=1.8cm
SRP £14.99(UK) $19.95(US)

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This one takes a somewhat different approach...it's a series of articles, reviews and interviews, from a variety of different authors. The articles are arranged in chronological order, but as there is no linear meta-narrative joining them together, you are free to pick and choose where to pick up and leave off. If you've read my review of Zombiemania, you'll know this is something I rather like, and the same applies here. Eaten Alive! is another one for the 'bathroom bookshelf'.

As for the articles themselves, as you might very well expect it's quite a pot pourri given the diverse list of contributors, and there are some real surprises in there too. When I saw that Troma figurehead Lloyd Kaufman had contributed an article, I was expecting a rollicking and irreverent pun-filled yuckfest in keeping with the mood of his own superb book "All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger" (Which I can more than happily recommend, if you're wondering), a comedic counterpoint to some of the more serious critical analysis which undoubtedly lay ahead. Instead, you get an insightful, intelligent and utterly straight-faced dissection of Cannibal Holocaust which contextualises the film and the themes therein brilliantly.

Script snippets and portions of interviews with the leading lights (both from behind and in front of the camera) of this particular sub-genre are skillfully interwoven between the articles. All of the usual suspects are there (Morghen, MacColl, McCulloch), but it is disappointing to hear what low regard some of them have for these movies. Still, the inclusion of numerous juicy Lucio Fulci anecdotes does go same way towards redressing the damage.

Is it good value for money? I would answer with a most enthusiastic "Yes!", but you have to bear in mind that I picked my copy up off of Ebay for less than a third of the SRP, postage included...and I'm still feeling incredibly smug about it, thank you very much. Had I been forced to pay full price, I wouldn't be shedding too many tears though. If you can scare yourself up a copy for around the £10 mark, then you will have got yourself a genuine bargain (although not as good as mine!!!).

Of course, no doubt some of you are saying to yourselves right now: "Cool! So, which one should I get? Eaten Alive! or Cannibal?"

If you're anything like me (and I assume you are since you're here), then my honest answer would be to get both. Eaten Alive! seems like a slightly more substantial work...it certainly has more pages, but they are smaller than the pages of Cannibal and not in glossy full colour either. The truth is that whilst they cover very much the same ground, they are as different as apples and oranges. Cannibal is the product of a single author, with a linear narrative. It's in full vibrant colour and is extremely well written...the only downside for me is that it is just too short. The old adage of 'Always leave them wanting more' has never been more appropriate.

Eaten Alive!, on the other hand, you certainly gives you a little more for your money (and it's cheaper too), but this is partially due to the fact that Slater is able utilise the work of multiple authors on the same subject (for example, there are no less than three pieces on Cannibal Holocaust), whereas John Martin only has the luxury of one.

Ultimately, it's the choice between a sixpack of domestic beers versus maybe a four-pack of a premium quality imported beer. You could make a similar analogy about hookers too, I guess, but I'm just too damned classy.

In short, if you like Italian exploitation flicks it's all good. If not, you have no soul.

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CANNIBAL: The Most Sickening Consumer Guide Ever!

By John Martin
Introduction by Quentin Tarantino

The Dark Side/Stray Cat Publishing Ltd.

162 pages, Full Colour.

Dimensions: H=29.8cm W=21.1cm

SRP: £19.99 (UK)

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Now here's a book to get my teeth into...a lovingly in-depth exploration of the Cannibal genre courtesy of the good folks at The Dark Side and John Martin (Seduction Of The Gullible, Giallo Pages, etc.). The cover image is a suitably bastard hybrid comprised of iconic images from such flicks as Zombie Flesh Eaters, Last Cannibal World, and Cannibal Apocalypse. They say you can never judge a book by its' cover, but this one seems to buck the trend quite graphically!

The running order follows that of a menu, with 'courses' instead of chapters and 'hors d'oeuvre' standing in for the introduction, which is delivered in the characteristic, rambling and thoroughly enthusiastic style of one Quentin Tarantino (in full-on former video store clerk geek-out mode) as he reminisces about some of his favourite slices of Italian genre cinema, providing something of a thumbnail sketch for what lies ahead.

Martin begins by tracing the cinematic lineage and subsequent evolution of the cannibal film as we know it, from its' roots in the Mondo movies such as 'Mondo Cane' and 'Africa Addio'. What made the Italian Cannibal movies so shocking in their day was not the subject matter at hand, but the way in which it was presented, with a distinct onus upon replicating the realism of the Mondo movies, such as the inclusion of real-life animal slaughter. He also frames the cannibal genre in socio-cultural terms as well, being at first a comment on Western exploration and exploitation, and latterly a comment on Western consumerism in general when the cannibal movies 'came home', which is to say ditched the jungle as a location.

The meteoric rise and inevitable fall (precipitated by the decline in quality that usually follows when everybody and their Mother jumps on a particular genre bandwagon) of the Cannibal genre is charted thus, and just like the ancient Chinese proverb which says 'Even the fiercest Tiger must one day submit to the Worm', even the most exquisitely-prepared gourmet meal is inescapably destined to turn into shit. Such was the lamentable fate of Italian Cannibal cinema, as Martin deftly outlines in the sobering chapter 'Too Many Cooks...'

It's a really well-written book, but its' greatest strength may also be its' greatest weakness. I had to exercise a little self-discipline and pace myself lest I read through it one sitting. The phrase "An evening read" is one that often gets tossed around a little too readily for my liking, but this will very likely prove to be the real deal unless you set yourself some strict reading limits and adhere to them. Suffice to say, such is the quality of the prose within that I shall definitely be making it a point to check out some of Martin's other work as a matter of priority.

As the book progresses, it takes in other movies which may or may not pass your own personal acid test as to whether they constitute 'cannibal movies' or not, such as films featuring flesh-eating zombies. Some might complain that this is a somewhat tenuous link, explored only to further pad out what is already a slim volume. However, the author's assumption that fans of Italian cannibal cinema will also be fans of Italian zombie cinema (and indeed, by extension, Italian exploitation cinema in general) certainly holds true with this reviewer, and is probably true for you too...after all, you're here reading this, aren't you? Purists and pedants may wish to split hairs, but personally I am all for the inclusion of it.

After the main body of text is done, and the chronology completed, there's a whole host of goodies yet to come, including a feature-length interview with John Morghen ("The Perfect Victim") as well as a plethora of supplementary interviews with a literal "Who's Who?" of Italian genre cinema (...and when I say a literal "Who's Who?" of Italian genre cinema, I mean it: Fulci, D'Amato, De Angelis, Deodato, Lenzi, Margheriti, Martino, De Rossi), and a filmography.

Unfortunately, I don't have a full collection of The Dark Side or Giallo Pages, so I have no way of knowing whether these interviews have seen print before, although I would certainly suspect this to be the case given that some of the subjects are now sadly dead. Still, they're all new to me, and I enjoyed them greatly.

As you might expect, the text throughout is complimented by the usual stunning array of rare promo stills, candid behind-the-scenes shots, and obscure foreign one-sheets and lobby cards, the cumulative effect of which is a sensation somewhere between extreme envy, homicidal rage, and a burning desire to spend a lot of money on Ebay because you suddenly realise that you don't have enough rare genre movie collectable stuff in your life...or your spare room, garage, or attic.

If you have the merest inkling of an interest in this genre, then I'd say it's an essential purchase (although you're hardly spoilt for choice in this area...the only other book I am aware of is Jay Slater's 'Eaten Alive', which I shall be reviewing shortly). The question is weighing up your enthusiasm for the genre against the price you are willing to pay. Personally, I'd wouldn't pay £20 for this, as whilst I can appreciate that it's a highly specialist subject and thus one must pay a little over the odds for it, I still think it's slightly overpriced. If someone offers you a copy for around £15 or less, then bite their hand off!

I think the most telling verdict I can give you is this: It cost me nothing (obtained it by redeeming points on a supermarket loyalty card), I've already read it cover to cover, but I won't be putting my copy up on Ebay any time soon, even though I could no doubt turn a handsome profit on it.

In short, it's a bona fide keeper...I just wish there was more of it!

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